"Wanting" isn't enough

I want so badly to be used by God, to tell of His great love for us through the Cross and how He's worked in my life. I want to love God with all of my heart and love others more than myself. I want to have a heart for the lost and do something with my changed heart. But wanting doesn't seem to cut it. It's like almost. I almost made the basket that would have won the game. I almost went to state in track. But I didn't. I've found myself in places lately where I could have spoken up, spoken His name, told others about Jesus and all He's done in my life and in my marriage...but I didn't. I kept silent. Didn't say a word. Why is it that I want something to be true of me, but then don't make it true?

I read this verse today (convicting!), and I pray that I will apply in my own heart and life this encouragement from Paul (2 Timothy 1:8-9 The Message): "God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible. So don't be embarrassed to speak up for our Master or for me, his prisoner. Take your share of suffering for the Message along with the rest of us. We can only keep on going, after all, by the power of God, who first saved us and then called us to this holy work."